Coals in my Stocking

This holiday season was blessed.

I had a warm glow in my heart nearly every single day.
Nothing could extinguish the joy.
Tiny coals were glowing in the ashes of my heart.

Unexpected gifts,
Tiny mementos
found their way into my home and into my hands.

A bear that my cousin gave my daughter in bags of extra Christmas decorations.

image
Bartholomew

When Sonja saw him, she told Kelly it was made by hand, and that I was partial to them since I, too, made bears by hand.
They both decided to give him to me.

He rode around in the car with me for a while because I do silly things like that.

I would pick him up and stare into his black glittering eyes from time to time, (I have a thing for black glittering eyes – on one person, anyway) and I’d ask myself what this bear’s name was going to be.

I eventually brought him into the house
And have named him Bartholomew.

Another memento, this Santa charm my eldest son gave to me.

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Santa!

It sits on my wrist among the others, but right beside this snowman, the first charm my children bought me.
The first charm I ever owned.

I wear my son’s regard for me on my wrist just as I harbor our relationship safely within my heart.

And then,
This fountain pen and vial of ink.

image
Exquisite thing.

Not necessarily a Christmas gift, they are certainly gifts that found their way to my home during this holy season.

Bestowed by a respected friend, they are exhibits which point to his understanding in regards to how I feel about writing,
how vital it is for us to record what is invisible to mankind (thoughts and emotions) through the simple mediums of pen and ink.

It is a cherished thing.
Filling its reservoir with inky fluid that stains my fingertips gives me a peculiar satisfaction which I have no words for.
Touching the tip to paper and leaving my mark, strangely fulfilling.

Lastly, this message that came in the first Christmas card of the season.

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Thoughtfulness.

This brings us back to what I tried to express when I began this blog entry.

This season brought a joy to me that no man could extinguish.
The love of God.
The love of family.
The love of friends.

Gratitude sincerely felt,
For each of those things,
And for tomorrows hoped for
Even though they are not guaranteed.

The four mementos represent thoughtfulness.
But more than that,
They represent affection put into action to create something one can touch.

When Doubt would whisper in my ear his negative unhappy words,
I can reach out and touch these symbols and say to him,
“To someone
I am valuable.
And they did something to make sure I knew it.”

As for you,
Dear Reader,
I wish you joy, the whole year through.
But more than that,
I wish you Love.

I wish you
Coals in your stocking.

Merry Christmas
And Happy New Year!

– leah

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