Hunger

It feels good when someone has compassion for you.
When they comfort or soothe you.
If you don’t have a lot of people loving you when you’re little, you discover really quickly, that if you’re pitiful, people will come love on you, do for you, and feel for you.
You have attention.
It’s great.
But it’s temporary.

As you get older, you discover that less and less people behave that way.
Your independence takes its proper place and you’re expected to handle things for yourself, now, instead of rely on others, like when you were a child.

If you’re addicted to the emotional rush from other people’s compassion,
You may begin to look for ways to need it.
Subconsciously.

You will find yourself in bad relationships, bad jobs, maybe injured…
Other people will be responsible for your suffering.
And humanity will again come to console you, pity you, and make you feel that warm feeling again.

A cycle develops.

People on the outside can see it.
Some may draw your attention to it.
Your victim mentality.

There’s only one way to stop it.
Face it, face yourself, and assume responsibility for your own actions.

And accept the fact that it’s wrong to look for others’ pity/compassion/concern, as a way of life.

One must learn to live without it.
The drug, the emotional surge of comfort.

Independence, and owning one’s own behavior, is learned by children.
By most children.
But not by all.

It’s sad when you see a grown up in the cycle.
It’s sad when the grown up you’re looking at is yourself.
But not hopeless.

The man,
The woman,
Who wants to grow, will do so.
The others, well, the pity is their food.
And it never fills.
So pray for them.

They live with an insatiable hunger that will not go away until they acknowledge that they’ve been feeding it the wrong thing.

And sometimes people won’t go hungry long enough to find that out.

-leah