It wasn’t that my world wasn’t good.
It was very good.
I put things in it
To make it so;
Shooting, singing, dinners out with the kids, movie dates with my daughters, movie dates with my sons,
And movie dates alone to recharge my battery…
Drives downtown to work and tiny tours to explore while I was there.
I did things,
Loved people within my reach…
I failed some.
Got up, dusted off my ass,
Tried again. 😊
My life was good.
But I had nights talking to God ,
Asking him if this was going to be it.
I told him I couldn’t believe he’d made me to be neglected as a kid,
Then as a married woman,
(My fault for staying after the writing was on the wall.)
And then leave me desolate for the last third of my life.
Even as I prayed about that
I knew I had friends who’d had it worse than I ever did;
Good women that lost children to the grave,
Or fought cancer, losing their breasts…
I knew that life wasn’t fair and you made beautiful things with whatever ingredients you had at your disposal.
I ::knew:: that.
But the heart still ached for strong arms around me and kisses…
And I’d still talk to him about it,
But when a person prays,
They don’t beg for things.
They talk, they express themselves,
and then they accept.
That’s the only way to live
Is to accept what IS.
My life –
It was good.
I made sure of it.
But it was lacking.
And I didn’t know how much until he came along.
He is… uncomplicated,
But that doesn’t make him simple.
Because he is not simple.
He is rather intelligent and I like that a lot.
And he feels deeply.
I sense it.
He was there all the time,
just hidden from view for a while,
The way the clouds hide the sun.
Suddenly they move and then you feel it. You feel the warmth.
Oh, there it is… ☀️
My life was good.
But it had room for improvement,
I just wasn’t aware of how much until he came along.
He has enhanced it,
He made it better.
I hope I make his better, too.