The friendship marriage – It exists.

I met a couple Wednesday evening who restored my hope in the possibility of enjoying a loving friendship in the bonds of marriage.

I WRITE about marriage and love and all of that,

And if anyone asked me if I could be again,

married – I now say yes.

But that doesn’t mean I envision it.

My intimate friends know that last year, when someone proposed, I didn’t respond very well.

Part of that was because the fella seemed in such a hurry, and I shared with him on more than one occasion, my perspective.

“Well, I might be able to be engaged by December…because then we’d have been together for five or six months, but certainly not before then. It would be much too soon. We need more time to get to know one another.”.

So In OCTOBER, when the proposal took place,

At six thirty in the morning,

Because they’d called and told me to unlock the door, they were coming by…

I stood there, hair in every direction,

No coffee (to make me human) had been ingested…

My eyes were still protesting the light in the kitchen,

My mind was completely asleep and asking my body why it was vertical and out of bed.

The timing didn’t seem right on so many levels.

I mean – Anyone who’s known me say…


Knows I am not a morning person.

And while I don’t think a woman should determine when or how a man pops the ole question,

I do think the phrase: “I would need at least six months to know you before considering an engagement.” should be respected.

Especially after its having been repeated about eleventy times.

So no –

I was not the joyous bride-to-be filled with rapturous joy.

I was the still asleep woman with teeth as yet not brushed, with hair tornado effects still evident, attempting to process a proposal at six in the too damn early in morning, after approximately eight to ten weeks of dating.

Looking back – it’s a hilarious story.

But at that moment, it was not.

I mean, he had feelings at stake, too.

Perhaps you’re out there thinking that a woman in love would have received the proposal at any hour – night or day – pajamas or evening gown – hair brushed or wig on – and you’re right.

A woman in love would have.

It wasn’t the six-thirty in the morning that made me unhappy.

It was the six-thirty in the morning of the friendship that was the issue.

The sun had barely risen in the relationship.

There was no full light of day to shine on flaws and problematic areas so one could move forward without stumbling over rocks on the path.

I simply hadn’t had time to search out his soul, my soul, and what they were once mixed together.

Would this be milk and honey?

Or oil and water?

It was just too soon.

And a man who loved a woman would have listened to her when she voiced concern.

Anyway, it has been almost a year since that (ad)venture ended. The sun did rise and shine light on the path, and in the process, many pitfalls were revealed.

Wherever he is today – I do hope he found the one who will compliment his soul in every way.

I also hope she’s a morning person.


But to get back on track,

Wednesday – I met this wonderful couple who exemplified the friendship marriage.

The three-legged race partnership for life.

The “I genuinely like this person.” marriage,

And it gave me hope that they really do exist.

It was lovely.


To watch them walk together.

To listen to them talk.

To sit in the air surrounding them was to bask in relational sunshine.

It was warm and glowy and happy.

It made me happy just to be with them.

It gave me hope.

Hope for tomorrow.

And strength for today.

And grace – like the sugar you’d sprinkle on your morning cereal – to help sweeten the blandness of life.


True love.

It exists.

If you are fortunate to know such people,

Go sit by them.

You’ll see…

Their love will radiate outward,

And it will warm you

From the inside, out.

You’ll be nourished by being near them,

By experiencing the wholesome affection

Of two made one

Fidelity on display




I do hope you get to see it.

And feel it.

And find it!

If you haven’t already,

With that special someone that fits like a glove.

God bless your journey,

And Merry Christmas!

And if you haven’t heard it lately,

You matter.

God bless…


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