4am and lost in thought.
Thinking of dreams unrealized and promises broken.
Leadings of God not followed and the unhappy consequences of those actions.
Praying a little.
“God, you know what I want to do with my life, right?”, even as I look forward at the years which lie ahead to realize that the number in front of me is smaller than the one behind,
And dismay fills the heart as I ask, “Do I have enough time to do the things?”.
“I work hard to build a beautiful heart, is there anyone worthy of this thing which a labor of love caused to come into being? If so, am I worthy of theirs?”.
And then the babies, which are not babies.
“Give this one more self-assuredness, Meet the needs of that one, Give clarity to the other, and don’t forget this one here, give them the desires of their heart… and for my new daughter, Thank you. She’s exquisite.”
New friends made, “Help me be kind, thoughtful, giving… I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
Old friends who remain, “Thank you for these. Bless them with double the love they gave to me when I was low…”
And my family as they battle tribulation, trials, illnesses, “God – heal whom you would heal. Strengthen the weary.”.
Back to my dreams.
“You know what I want to do…
Open the doors and I will walk through them.”
To the world, I am no one.
To God – I am daughter.
He will lead, guide, equip, sustain.
I simply cannot give up hope.
WE cannot give up hope.
Your dreams are seen as easily as mine.
Your heart’s cry is heard as well.
And when you hear His voice,