I wish

Hobbes,

I wish

That when we tried

I’d been less broken

And more alive.

That I’d been stronger

And not that reed

Bent and bruised

Unsure of its own strength

Or ability

To grow straight and tall.

I wish that fate hadn’t scooped you up

And dropped you on another continent

Across the ocean

And that the sound of your voice

Or look in your eyes

Weren’t hidden from my view

I wish that I could have expressed to you

How deeply I loved you

Even when in pain

How I would have been glad

To sweep the corners of the kitchen

Fold your socks

Make the bed

Press the uniform

Provide that meal

That makes the air smell good

Outside

Before you’ve even opened the door

To our home.

That would have been living

To me

A satisfying life

Supporting

Trying

to make

Your life better.

Half-time is over

We’re playing now

When

Every moment counts

One only wants

The best

By their side

I wish we were those players

Knowing the moves

Anticipating the thoughts

Teamwork an instinct

Not contrived.

And I wish

I’d kept my promise

Been the friend

That wrote the letters

And spoke the words

That nourished a soul

But I couldn’t

It took too long

To find the shards

Of the heart

That broke

When we said goodbye.

My strength

Went into breathing

In and out

Into waking

Instead of sleeping

Into standing

Instead of falling

Into smiling

Instead of weeping

Into moving

Instead of quitting.

I worry about you

Over there

On a wall

Providing freedom for me

When I provide nothing for you

But you are God’s

You always have been

There is my consolation

He will keep you

As he keeps me

And one day

Here or in heaven

Our paths will cross

And I will not be shy

To express to you

The thoughts

Within

My heart.

I love you, Hobbes

You’re part of me

Your kindness taught me to be kind

Your quiet

Taught me how to listen

And your gentleness

Taught me how to love.

You didn’t just fill my cup, Hobbes

In loving me

You filled the well.

Calvin

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