Infatuation

I have been all about politics lately.

Nothing about love – even though I do enjoy writing about it. πŸ™‚

No – I am not in love nor have I fallen into that puddle, pit, well, crevasse, or chasm – whatever you want to call it.

Slough of Despond – Tar Pit – Volcano….

Like I said…

I do love writing about it, and I ::am:: reading a book called _Sex, Love, or Infatuation_ at the encouragement of a handsome guy I have seen a time or two – because he challenged me, I guess.

Not to see him. hahaha – but to read it.

He’s an intellectual.

Those are my favorite.

The thinkers and the readers.

He ::may:: have said I was infatuated.

This report can neither be confirmed or denied.

But if he DID say it, I would have scoffed, of course, and said something like:

“I am no foolish teenager! I have been around the block a few times and I know the difference between infatuation and actual genuine Like (with a capital L) and maybe love, (with a baby L).

(And whisper it when you say it, because I don’t want to jinx it.)

Okay – I didn’t say that either, but we did get on the UNmerry go round of “yes you are – no I am not – yes you are, etc.

So here I am reading it and …sigh

Yes I am.

It’s a mix, really.

According to this blasted book, Infatuation is sexual attraction and strong emotion and is Unreliable.

Well – I thought infatuation was puppy love, but the sexual attraction thing takes it right out of that category.

I knew it was unreliable, which is why I bristled at the classification of my regard. I like to see myself as a reliable person, even if others may not.

So it is a mix, because the book talks about the real stuff and in the real stuff category a person (like me) actually cares about the other person (like him) and wants what is good for them.

They want what is good for them because they matter, so even if it ::costs:: them something, they comply – like going to see a movie they know they will not enjoy very much (Sicario) because the man is a typical XY and couldn’t wait for it to open at the theaters.

(If you have seen the first Sicario, and liked it – you will like this one, too.)

The plus side of seeing that movie was learning that he knows how to share popcorn, unlike my best friend, (You know who you are, girl. πŸ˜‰) That – and the fact that I only had to close my eyes one time to hide from something bloody.

Back to the topic:

Infatuation is the romantic love that people fall in and out of, a romantic illusion which should be seen for what it is, the most unreliable thing to build on.

So basically, while I am that kind and thoughtful person who attempts to put the desires of another at the top of the list where my desires and wants exist,

I am still partially in an emotional amusement park.

Not real life, but a nice diversion from it.

And while I am in the amusement park, I am reading this book suggested by the intellectual who is in the park with me, but since he is not infatuated, (or IS he?) he may be having less fun. Whichever the situation, I am glad he’s here, because he’s pretty good company.

Pray for him.

I cannot imagine he would walk with me long before being at risk of falling completely and madly in love with a woman like myself, who can’t see a sunset without writing a sonnet to the sky,

Or gaze at the moon and wonder why the Lord made it the color of silver…

Or see a dragonfly and wish it would hold still for just a moment so my camera lens could capture that perfect color of ocean green mixed with blue, reflected by filigree wings which are as fine and fragile as the feelings of a woman in her forties reading a book about sex, love, and infatuation,

learning new things,

perhaps thirty years later than she should have…

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