Dinner, Dessert, and Sex.

The date.

It was one of those dinners where you realize about halfway through that most of their thoughts are focused on wondering whether you’re going to sleep with them afterward, or not.

Where all attempts at polite conversation are met with little response,

Or worse,

Absolute silence and a facial expression communicating boredom, displeasure, or – worst of all – the blatant refusal to engage.

“Oh Alma, don’t be so negative.”

– really? Here is one example.

Me: “Thank you for asking me out. I’m pleased for the opportunity to know one another a little better.”

Him: A wrinkled nose and the shaking of his head in the universal “No” movement.

Me, thinking: “Well, that rules out pretty much any and every conversation starter.”

It must suck to be a man who wants to have sex and thinks he has to pay for it or earn it by taking someone to dinner.

How do I know that he wanted to sleep with me?

His only questions to me were to ask when my curfew was.


And when I texted a thank you for the evening out, the response was, “I wanted to take you home with me.”.

I was not flattered.

And Ladies, do you know who we have to blame, at least partially?


For teaching men over the past few decades that our bodies could be purchased with dinner and dessert,

or dinner and a movie,

Or “Netflix and chill”,

Or less.

I’m sorry, men.

Not for the fact that some of you want that interaction before genuine commitment, we gals get thirsty, too.

No, I’m sorry that so many of us gave in to you without requiring it.

We have inadvertently taught you that we weren’t as valuable as we are.

And all of us are losing something meaningful in the process.

– just thoughts

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