I am thinking of you, again.

I work hard
Not to.

You didn’t ask to be a part of my life.
You did once.
But not now, not in this season.

I looked for you.
I love you.

I do.
I love you,
And I will love you so completely,
So very utterly,
So very thoroughly,
Until the day that I die.

And then…
When I draw my last breath,
As everything I cared about and wrote about and worked hard to achieve settles to the ground as my soul and spirit float upwards…

My love for you will break in two.

One portion will stay inside of my soul and spirit,
Making it beautiful.
The other will flutter towards the earth in a barely tangible misty form.
It will touch the earth and add fragrance to the flowers.
It will sink into the ocean and contribute vibrance to coral reefs and tropical fish.
It will touch the grass and make it softer for children who run barefoot.
It will soak into the soil and nourish the crops of farmers.
It will hold hands with the wind,
And laugh softly as it tousles the hair of lovers as they kiss.

But the miracle is not found in those things.
It is found in heaven
Where your love will reside,
Inside of me
As I observe your days upon the earth

And it will welcome you when it is your turn to come.
God’s love will outshine it, of course,
It too, will draw you
In its perfection
Away from the world and its sin
Away from problems and sad stories of separation
Away from every briar and bramble and thorn.

It will be perfect.
And it will envelope you

God will be there.
Your loved ones will also receive you
And I will stand on the sidelines,
Watching you experience freedom for the first time,
And you will look at me and smile,
Because you will know.

You will know in that moment
How well I loved you
It will radiate from your face
Making you more lovely than I believed possible
And it will add to the bliss of your eternity.

What more can a woman in love ask,
But that the object of her affection
Embrace what is always going to be
And be happier
In the knowledge
That it was meant
For only him.

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