Mountain

Love.
Love is a mountain on a landscape.
It simply is.
And the heart…
The heart is its fortunate foundation.

When it is born, one cannot stop it from existing.
Plate tectonics will shift within.
The mountain will come into existence.
There is no reverse process, Beloved.

The mind can resist.
And it will win over many things.
Like a hacker, it will override the program if it needs to,
But love will not completely disappear.
It will be stifled.
And you, dear heart, will be altered.
But the mountain.
Will.
Remain.

Bedrock.
Love can be the foundation upon which you build your life.
But it will cost you.
Your fingernails will tear, your skin will blister, you will bleed as you lift stone after stone to build a sturdy thing.

You will question why you put yourself through this maddening exercise,
And then you will catch a glimpse of them as they walk past…

Your tummy will flip over inside of you and your eyes will ache for their beauty as you marvel at (and worship) the God who, in his limitless talent and imagination, created a soul so lovely in each facet, that it sparkles in the slightest glimmer of light, (for true beauty is in the soul;  it radiates outward through the eyes).

I have struggled with love;
Wrestled with it, like Jacob wrestled with the angel of the Lord, in the darkness of night.
Unlike Jacob, I wrestled with it for many nights.
So many.
Yet, like Jacob, I lost.
And like Jacob, I bear a lasting reminder.
A scar.
That I do not despise
To love is to have been touched by God.

Love, like mountain, will remain.
And I, instead of wrestling, have yielded to it.

But I am just as frightened as Jacob was on that fateful night that his name was changed to “Israel”,
for daylight is ahead,
and with it,
the challenges and discomfort of no guarantees.

Jacob walked forward.
He had no choice.
I walk, too.

Jacob found a happy ending.
God went before him.
Maybe then, shall we, for I am not alone in the loving, nor am I alone in the walking.

I am guaranteed one thing.
One thing only.
This mountain on the landscape of my heart…
When all is said and done,
Will remain.
And I…
I am better for its existence.

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