Resolve

This keeps going through my head.
My heart.
Like a theme.

This resolve.
It pulsates inside of me,
Like blood in my veins.

“To give, where once there was taking
Where once I absorbed, to pour out.
To nurture a miracle in the making.
And remove every shadow of doubt.”

~~~

I was not properly equipped to love when I was younger.
I left a childhood and teen existence of near nightmarish conditions and my survival skills were a good sense of humor and passion.

But no one got past the guest room.

The soul was kept in the basement, in a vault and if someone started turning the dial to crack the safe’s code I would experience anxiety of a near debilitating nature.

Break out into a cold sweat.
Panic attacks.

It was a natural reaction for someone who lived a life at risk.

Those days are gone.
Long gone.
The days of the soul being trapped inside, unable to move freely, like a person in a body cast, are gone.

I walk on wobbly legs gaining strength with each passing day,
Believing in Buttercup and Westley love and doing what I can to make wise decisions as I come to each crossroads.

Giving where once I would have held back.

Today.
All we are given is today.
If you can love from your core, then do so, in action.

And that little poem that I gave birth to several days ago floats around inside of me, like I said above, like blood cells traversing veins and vessels.
Existing.
Within me.

Maybe I am a fool.
Then I am not alone.

Plenty of men and women have been fools for love.

I would rather be a fool poured out like water than a stagnant pond which nourishes nothing.

Leah

~~~

– Resolve –
To give, where once there was taking
Where once I absorbed, to pour out.
To nurture a miracle in the making.
And remove every shadow of doubt.

Almita
November 2014

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